Real Life comes back in One Day.

This last week I've been fortunate to have off of both work and school. It's the first week of my three week break from school, and I requested the whole week off from work so I could go to California (Which I didn't end up doing... very bittersweet....)

And now that it is saturday, I have today and tomorrow to live out my free life before work comes back to haunt me. At least I don't have school, but I don't mind school. It'll be the beginning of a fantastic new semester so when it starts back up again, I won't be so angsty about it. (I hated last semester. I took all boring classes and wanted to shoot myself in half of them.)

I hate my job, honestly. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it.

I hate/love it.

I work at Kindercare Learning Center. I am a preschool teacher, and I float between teaching the two year olds and the toddlers. I love the kids. They're brilliant little minds and although they have their terror-inducing moments, they're all-in-all, the greatest little things to ever exist. They just have a way of making you love them, and you'll always love every little bit about them. Then they go and dump all the toys onto the floor, bully each other until they have beaten themselves senseless and you just want to cry because you still love them.

AND YOU NEVER CAN EXPLAIN WHY YOU STILL LOVE THEM.

That's why I love my job, and if I didn't have half of my artistic skill, I'd probably stay in this job forever and make it a career. But I don't. I don't because that'd be selling myself short. I have a gift and I feel like God intended for me to... you know... use it!

Anyway, I think the fact that I decided NOT to have this be a career is ruining me. The job is an all-or-nothing deal. You're either in or you're out. It's been so weird to be in this forced half-on, half-off. It just makes everything uncomfortable. I can't be there all the time, and when I am there, I'm dedicatedly there. I spend 8 hours there every day that I'm working, and when you spend that much time with rambunctious kids, you get tired.

I come home so worn out. It's not even funny anymore. I have no energy left by the time I'm done with work for school or for homework.

So that's what I'm doing today; putting in job applications. I'm looking for a new job, one where I'm not coming home over-exhausted and near tears as to how tired I am. Not to mention, I need a job where I still have time to do school work. And have a life. Yes. Because having a life is important. I miss having actual friends.

Anyway. I hope everyone has a good day!