A Bride.

At what point does one become a bride?

I know. What a seemingly stupid question. What a seemingly UNNECESSARY question. Why does it matter? Who cares?

But I'm serious. I thought about it for a moment. I don't really feel like some higher being on her way to marriage, carted into a new life or statehood. I just... I just feel like Lisa, a Lisa who is pledging her life to a Jared. Her Jared. My Jared.

Is that what being a bride is supposed to feel like? Just as it's always felt? Since this relationship started, somehow I knew this is what I was getting into and I just accepted it in a single stride. Does that mean I've been a bride the whole time? If so, I kind of feel a little ripped off. I don't feel any more special than I did before I got engaged. (Though I do feel more special than I did when I was single. Jared makes life more amazing than I could have ever expected.)

Or is a bride supposed to be a superficial jerk who spends her engagement bossing people around and feeling like a goddess because everyone is bending to her every whim? I mean, come on, she is "the bride." Right? Is the bride supposed to be ruler and queen and goddess until her wedding day when it's all over? She's SUPPOSED to be a bridezilla, right?

I really hope that's not what a bride is supposed to be.

Maybe you don't even become a bride until your wedding day. Maybe bridehood is when you're in your dress, prettied up and dancing your newly-wedded heart out with the man to whom you dedicated your life.

In that case, when does bridehood end? Does it end when you come back from the honeymoon and you've settled down? Does it end when you've consummated the marriage and then no one is interested anymore?

On a random tangent: I have this dark feeling inside me that no one legitimately cares that I'm engaged. I know my family is enthralled, but I feel like the friends Jared and I had/have, suddenly have grown upset or absent. I know that's a bounding accusation, but for some reason, I feel like everyone's just... apathetic. No one seems to really care about it. The only non-family person who seemed to genuinely care was the lady at the Disney store who asked me about my wedding when I told her I was buying the Rapunzel and Flynn Rider wedding dolls for a reason. Other than that, the only thing people seem to be interested in is why we're waiting "so long" to get married. Then when I tell them why, they only comment on how they're sorry that I have to wait ten months. JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME.

Also, it bothers me that people only have to say "You guys look related"when they comment on our pictures. You can just say "Aww cute." Even if it seems cliché, it's better than making me feel weird.

Anyway. Back on track.

Bridehood. The state of being a bride.

I guess I only thought about this because I've been buying things for the wedding in small amounts. (We do have time) And I thought it'd be more exciting than it's been. I thought people would be more willing to help or to come with me to these things, but so far it seems like my engagement has alienated me. I really don't care if people agree with it or not, but... I don't know. It'd be nice to at least have some  one telling me how cute we are and making me feel like I'm not just crazy for thinking this is the cutest relationship ever.

Ehh.